I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
