Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
