I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
