first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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