I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He shit in the fireplace
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