I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's never too late to be topless.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
