I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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