She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
