nutella sex= disaster
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize