Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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