when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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