You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
