lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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