We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
