i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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