my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
