Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"

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(419): View more from Ohio

Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems

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(+79): View more from

Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight

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(813): View more from Florida

sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.

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(713): View more from Texas

My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.

(803): View more from South Carolina

Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.

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(475): View more from Connecticut

I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today

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