At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
