what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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