We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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