i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
