In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
