Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
