No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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