id be glad to
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
