You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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