disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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