I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
