We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
