I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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