Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
