All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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