just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
