I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
