Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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