So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize