she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I came so hard my ears popped.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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