I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I would ride that face into the sunset
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
