I didn't shave. On purpose
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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