There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize