dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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