How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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