How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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