I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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