Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
