PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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