You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
