then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
