He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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