do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
