I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
