There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
