Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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