so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
