I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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