I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
