I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
